Friday, January 22, 2016

Foodborne Illness

You ever embarrass yourself when there's nobody else around?

Oh, hell yeah.  I once dropped a hot cup of broccoli and cheddar soup onto my dick because I was too horny and too hungry to not jerk off while eating.

Yikes.

Yep.  Pretty embarrassing.

Fuck embarrassing.  That sounds painful.  I hope you didn't get any molten chunks stuck in your dickhole.

I did, as a matter a fact.  Worse even, the doctor didn't believe my story.

You should have punched him.

I did.  He blocked it and kicked me in the balls.  Ruptured a couple of the blisters on my nut sack.

Oof.  Did he at least fix the damage to your testicles?

Kind of.  He apologized and gave me a lollipop.

How old were your when this happened?

43.  It was during the surprise birthday party I threw for myself at the local soup kitchen.

And there were no people there?

Well, it was on fire so the people who were in there were all dead.

Probably explains why the soup was so hot.






No comments:

Post a Comment