Ooh! Start the cute one! (pause) I don't know why that came out of my mouth. I don't even care about boys. I just did all of this to myself so that I could sit down to pee.
Is it wise to start a back up running back versus a top tier defense even with home field advantage?
Put an apple in my mouth and pretend I'm a cooked pig! (pause) What the fuck was that? I hate fruit. I'm totally a vegetables kind of girl.
I'm feeling the injury bug. Who's a viable tight end option out there on the waiver wire?
Dude! I just nailed the hottest bitch in her tight end the other day! (pause) I just realized that I'm getting way more pussy now that I have a pussy.
My wide receivers are retarded and...wait a minute...you don't have a pussy. You still have your cock and balls. I just saw them popping out of your mini skirt when we were in the line at the Pizza Hut lunch buffet.
Look at my fucking hair! It's long! Like girl hair! Would a boy paint his finger nails red? Fuck, no, he wouldn't! Not unless he was some kind of sissy faggotfucker! And I'll have you know that I look way better in this dress than those Kardashian cunts, so back off! (pause) Sorry, honey. I don't know what came over me. I think my hormones are out of whack.
You paid money for this?
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