Top Ten Things That Will Happen When You Delete Your FaceBook Page

10)  Nobody on the planet will ever laugh again.

9)  Your exes will all text you at the same time to apologize and send you ten thousand dollars.

8)  The Pope will smoke crack and die.

7)  Elephants will grow wings and fly to your house to feed you breakfast every day for the rest of your life.

6)  You will become okay with gluten.

5)  Jesus will rise again just to smoke crack and die.

4)  Nobody will ever know where you are when you're drunk.

3)  AIDS will be cured...except for all newborns in Massachusetts.

2)  Obama will finally feel comfortable wearing a Confederate flag as a cape in his GG Allin cover band.

1)  Your head will be skullfucked at your open-casket funeral by Hitler elves and abortion clowns.