Oh, yeah? Even with a single section of a toilet paper roll?
Yep. Easy. Slide it up a person's nose while they're sleeping. It'll block their breathing and they will die of asphyxiation.
Hmm. How about a dog turd?
Put it in their waffle iron. When they make breakfast in the morning the chunks of shit in the batter with eat away the victim's soul.
Wow, I never knew you were so well-versed in science.
Yeah, I get an overabundance of use out of the left hemisphere of my brain.
Is that because the other side is missing after your failed suicide attempt with the shotgun?
The doctor let me keep the remaining parts in a jar.
That's nice. Don't what you've got 'til it's gone, eh?
I accidentally dumped it into a waffle iron.
Soooooo, how would you go about the killing business with a tiny feather?
I would duck tape it to a sword and cram in into their eye socket.
A speck of sand?
Tape it to mail bomb that I would attach to their next Amazon delivery.
A dollop of butter?
I would lube up a fence post and slowly impale them.
The stem of a maraschino cherry?
Give it to Charlie Sheen to use as a sounding rod and then put it under their pillow and give them AIDS through osmosis.
Phew, well I am fresh out of thoughts for the day. Looks like you are truly the master of your domain on this subject.
It's what I do.
Hope you won't get too upset that I'm not gonna finish the rest of my waffle.
No problem. I'd offer you a sandwich bag to take it home in but I used my last one to kill the family next door.
That's kind of a downer, man. They seemed really nice.
Oh, they died really nicely.
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