An Eagle's Performance On Open-Mic Night

Scree!!
Kaw...wwwwwwrrrrrrraaaaaaaeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
tear
tear
swallow GULP

HEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
screeches eeeeeerrrrckaa

COCK-CAW

squuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa




hoot hoot hoot

[audience is silent]

Sorry.  Mistook a bottle of Ambien for a trout today. (sigh)  Give it up for our next act, Tom.  He's a squirrel trapped in bear's body who sings protest hymns about leaf-blowers.

Things Never Heard In The White House . Ever.

Excuse me.

Are you done eating?

You really shouldn't say that.

I wouldn't kick her out of bed for watching CNN.

Please.

No, Angel Dust clearly was their best album.

Hold the cheese.

Whatever I do here in this bathroom stays right here because at the end of the day it is no longer any of my own business.

Sorry.