I Hate People Who Brag About How Much Water They Drink and How Far They Walk Everyday

The color of your pee doesn't look right.  You should drink more water.

That isn't pee.  I melted a box of Crayons with a blow torch. 

I have an app on my phone that says I've walked to the abortion clinic twice today.

Wow.  Ten steps.  That's a lot for a white person.

I identify as being black.

You need an English speaking app.