Walking Dead Season 5 Episode 7 Spoiler

Soooo, about this party tonight.

Yeah, I don't really wanna go.  Let's just stay home and watch Walking Dead.

DVR that shit.  Anyway, the party...Marcia's going to be there.  Do you remember Marcia?

We can't DVR anything anymore.  You threw wine all over it when you disagreed with the judges on the season finale of America's Top Gynecologist.

Oh, I thought that was blood.  Well that's a relief.  Anyway, the party...Marcia's going to be there.  She's going through a hard time right now.  I'm going to need you to be on your best behavior tonight.

I always behave when I'm watching television.

That show is retarded.  It should be called the Walking Retarded.  Get over it.  Anyway, back to the party...Marcia just got dumped and she's really sad about it so I'm expecting a lot of broken glass, black eyes and cocaine vomit.  Should be a good time.  C'mon.  It'll give you something better to talk about with your work buddies than the conspiracy theories surrounding Carl's sweaty hat.

There's something going on underneath that hat.

The High School Ass Team

So what exactly does the water boy do in your...sport?

Oh, well you know, we get thirsty so you would be in charge of keeping us hydrated.

Well, I guess that should have been obvious.  Let me try a different question.  What sort of action are you all participating in to make this activity be considered a sport?

It's teams of four trying to score the most points.  The team with the most points wins.

How do you score points?

With our asses, silly.  Are you feeling, ok?  I'm not used to being the one answering all the questions from an applicant at a job interview.

Sorry.  My bad.  I was just trying to gain some clarity on the responsibilities of the position, that's all.

Well, you'll need to have good organizational skills, of course.  Multi-tasking is essential because there's a lot going on around you so you'll need to keep those hands moving while the game
is happening.  It gets really intense.  Especially during the playoffs.

And when does that...?  Scratch that.  Almost asked you another question.

See?  You're a quick learner!  OMG!  I like that!  You'll be perfect for the job!  Can you start tomorrow?

Uh, sure.

Yay!!!  [shakes hands]   It's official!

Awesome.  What time do I start?  [thirty second awkward silence]  Uh-oh.  What's happening right now?

You just got fired, that's what's happening right now.  Christ, you lasted one sentence.  What the fuck did I tell you about asking questions?  They are for the person doing the interview not the other way around!

But the interview was over!  I thought I had the job!

Your mother had a job, asshole.