1. Take out the recycling. With an AR-15.
2. NetFlix n' kill.
3. Let the air out of the tires on Madison Cawthorn's wheelchair and then give him a Fleshlight filled with cocaine.
4. Fly out into the middle of a desert with just one bottle of water and see how long it takes to die. Oh, wait. That's already been done. It's called Las Vegas. My bad.
5. Let the air out of the tires on Greg Abbott's wheelchair and then give him some avocado pits on top of burnt toast.
6. Mercury retrograde like a motherfucker.
7. Go to Florida and draw dicks on all the Bibles.
8. Learn how to play every popular 80's saxophone solo on the keytar and see how long it takes to die. Oh, shit. That's already been done. It's called the Academy Awards.
9. Read a book. Which, in Florida, means light it on fire and get high offa da smoke.
10. Leave an uncooked green bean bake casserole on your porch so that the people looting your dead body will have a warm final meal.
11. Check the oil level in your car's engine to see if you have enough to siphon off and properly grease Matt Gaetz's asshole before he goes to jail.
12. Hack into Trump's Truth Social account and send a friend request to Jada Pinkett Smith.
13. Go to Florida and become an elementary teacher who only speaks ebonics with a lisp.
14. Ask Jesus why the fuck he bothered coming back to life.
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