Seattle Mariners Are The Best Baseball Team in Seattle

I like your baseball hat.

I'm wearing a hat?  I'm so drunk.

The Mariners won today.

I don't care.  Baseball is boring as fuck.

Nelson Cruz has 18 homeruns.

You make my pussy dry up when you talk.  I have a pile of dust between my legs right now.

Kyle Seager got robbed of a base hit if you ask me.

God ripped your balls off when you were born if you ask me.

Think we're gonna have a tough go at it this weekend against the Indians.

I hope you are referring to actual Native Americans who are going to run through this dead city and scalp all of you soul-sucking assholes.

I really want to get the next Bobblehead doll.  My son collects them.

Your daughter collects men at bus stops.

Well, yeah, that how she's paying her way through middle school.

I'm very anal about my prostitution.