That's a can of Spaghetti O's with a spoon in it. Did you even cook it?
I was in a hurry. Don't judge me. Anyway, this is me in the elevator. Doesn't my hair look so cute?
When were you a redhead? And Asian?
Oh, shit. That's a picture of somebody else. Boring. Let's scroll down a bit. Here we go...here's me riding the bus to school.
The guy sitting next to you doesn't look too thrilled to be included in the picture.
Yeah, he punched me in the face. That's why I skipped my early classes today; to go to the dentist. Here's one of me in the waiting room reading.
How does one read and take a picture at the same time? And for that matter, it looks like the magazine in your lap is upside down.
Oh, I just browse the words. It's the pictures that are the most important. You know, human beings could save themselves a lot of time if they expressed themselves more through photography than by wasting precious air with a bunch a meaningless mumbo jumbo.
Hmmm. Well, I've heard you say dumber shit, I guess.
Oh look, here's one of me checking my pregnancy test during field hockey practice. Negative. Which is good 'cause I was having a really bad streak there. Glad to have finally broken the vicious cycle.
Your mother and I are very proud.
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