1.) They need 23 hours of direct Fox News a day.
2.) Peace Lilies have Steve Bannon tramp stamp tattoos over their nonexistent butts.
3.) Succulents dry up when you ask your Google toaster to play hip-hop.
4.) The Weeping Figs have a block party on Hitler's birthday.
5.) Boston Ferns' casual observations about any sporting event.
6.) Dieffenbachia blame Obama for his poor 8-year policy of inaction against aggressive aphids.
7.) Heart Leaf Philodendrons blackface pictures in other peoples yearbooks.
8.) Aloe Vera Pro-Life butt lube.
9.) Venus Fly Traps spit out dung beetles at nearby African Violets.
10.) Norfolk Island Pine driving lesson discounts for alt-right protests.
