Fuck.
What's wrong?
I think I left the tiny headstone on the kitchen counter.
Oh, goddammit.
Should I turn the car around? We might still be able to make it to the appointment on time if drive really really really really really fast.
No. With our luck, we'll get a reckless driving charge to pile on top of all this bullshit. Just keep doing what you're doing. We should be able to figure out a back-up plan along the way.
I just saw a broken brick on the side of the road.
I have a cassette tape of Mariah Carey Christmas songs.
We could both cut off our pinkies and tie them together.
Maybe we'll run over a small turtle.
Does Texas even have turtles?
Probably not. Turtles are too smart to hang out in this retarded state.
There might be an old cell phone in my glove compartment.
I'm over it. Let's just pay the fine.
There's a fine?
[pause] I don't know. I just sort assumed that this sham law had to have fines if it isn't obeyed like all other laws.
Oh wow, does that mean there's a Fetus Court somewhere?
Jesus, right!?! There has to be! It has a conveyor belt that clunks the tiny coffins slowly around the room like a shitty sushi joint.
With color coded stickers to tell you the race of the blobs inside.
No doubt that some fuckers would have an open casket to get one last kiss in before they bury it.
Gotta be special cemeteries for this sordid lot, right?
Nah. Probably just toss 'em in the Pet Semetary.
Oof. Gross. I hope not. They'll just come back to life more Republican.
