Thursday, April 21, 2016

Sharing Human Insanity With Adorable Creatures

Better white people impressions: Dave Chappelle or Eddie Murphy?

Chappelle.  Hands down.  It's pretty much 75% of his act, man.  He's got it.

Yeah, but Murphy's iconic bit on SNL about being an undercover white person is in the top five most amazing things that have ever happened on this planet.

That's one bit up against a hundred million.  C'mon, did you even think this thing through or are you just running off at the mouth again?

The verbal diarrhea is feeling an extra bit runny today.  Think I'm hungover.

Has anybody ever figured out why people are so horny when they are hungover?

Are you saying that I'm horny right now?

Well, you did just jazz all over that donut.

Yeah, but that was 2 minutes ago.  Don't you think I'm done with being horny now that all that jazz has exited my nut sack?

Author's note:  Time out.  It should be known that I am obviously attempting to write 'jizz' but my computer's auto-correct application is such an overtly critical shithead that it wants to stamp a PG rating on my existence so I'm just going to humor it for the rest of this particular writing exercise and get back to being my normal grotesque self on the next one.  I promise.  Now, back to story at hand...

Don't you just love bunnies?

Oh, my, yes.

They're so cute and have such huge personalities.  Makes me wanna snuggle them to death.

You should see how their ears wiggle when they hear smooth jazz.

Oh, they fucking love the sound, feel and taste of smooth jazz.








Who Writes This Shit?

Okay.
I know what none of you are thinking.
Why write a blog if you don't ever take the time to write it?
Okay.
Maybe that's not what anybody is thinking.
I always hate it when people preamble a a shitty comment with "I know what you're thinking".
No you don't.
You'll say that I thinking something parallel to the conversation you've been having at my skull for 2 minutes, 3 days and 10 years but what's really going on is a jambalaya of unicorn robots shooting lasers at burning clowns and pumpkin elves in the midst of a civil war on the planet Fucktron.
Sorry for the run-on sentence.
We have a piss-poor educational infrastructure on planet Fucktron.